If you ask yourself, “Why do I help others?” and your answer isn’t, “Because it helps me,” then it’s worth pausing.
Even when we do good consciously, our ego always serves its highest motive. Sometimes, there’s a shadow emotion quietly guiding our actions.
If you people-please, struggle to say no, give too much, or feel too much empathy—whatever it is for you—there’s a reason behind it.
Ask yourself: “How does this serve me?”
Keep asking until you reach the core. For example:
- I overgive. How does this serve me?
I feel assured that people will like me. - How does this serve me?
I feel assured that I won’t be misjudged. - How does this serve me?
If I’m not misjudged, I’ll be accepted. - How does this serve me?
If I’m accepted, I feel I have value.
There it is. My sense of value comes from the acceptance I receive in my outside reality.
Try this for yourself. You might be surprised at what you discover.
Here’s a way to understand how our energy affects the people we attract:
| Action | Energy | Attracts People Who… |
| People pleasing | Fear of abandonment | Manipulate |
| “Need” to help all | Fear of feeling insignificant | Are victimizing themselves |
| “Need” to be good | Guilt of not being enough | Control others |
| Over-doing | Lack of self-worth | Are never satisfied with you |
| Have to be giver | Creating dependency in fear of being alone | Prioritize only themselves |
| Belittling oneself | Fear of non-acceptance / Judges others | Criticize too much |
The key is understanding your energy. People mirror it, not your actions. When you heal your energy, you naturally attract people who support you and reflect your true worth.
Hare Hare